I wonder when we, as women, will become a little less self-sacrificing. Stop giving ourselves away regardless of the cost. Must we lose ourselves to avoid feeling lonely, lose ourselves for sporadic attention paid to us by some dude who really couldn't begin to love us genuinely...especially since he has his own unresolved issues. I must love me! I MUST love me. I MUST LOVE ME!!!!!! Whether or not anyone else choses to. I must love me. Respect and consider myself. Realize that their is nothing wrong with putting myself first.
How much am I willing to tolerate, let go, allow to roll off my back before I say enough is enough? We all watch Oprah and Dr. Robin and listen as they admonish us to "keep it real" (not in those words) but do we really hear them? Their words resonate in the moment. Give us solace in chaos for 45minutes, but what happens to the knowledge given when the credits roll and Oprah signs off thanking everbody for watching? What happens? We go back to our lives. We live broken and fractured lives numbing ourselves to the abnormality of our existence. We convince ourselves that living with the hope that things will be better and the fear that they won't is okay, our cross to bear. Is it? Faith and fear (doubt, uncertainty) can not co-exist. We can and usually do choose faith, but fail to realize that we are not absolved of reality...relieved of fact. Saddens me that we far too often focus on fiction, wishes and daydreams...hoping for the person we married without stopping to think, perhaps the person in front of me is the truth, what is actual and the person pre-marriage was the illusion, a facade, a mask. When people show you who they are believe them. Please, believe them. As ugly as the truth is. Refuse manipulation and coercion and misrepresentations and empty promises. Your heart echoes the truth, don't be afraid to listen...as frightening as it is, listen. God is in the whisper. Amid the thunderous rumblings, God is in the whisper. Listen.
If we are really believers, truly bearers of Christ, then His word is absolutely applicable to us. Did the Saviour come that we would have life and that more abundantly? Are we not heirs to the fulfillment of each of His promises simply because we believe?
My wish (even my prayer) is for every one of my sisters to see themselves as the invaluable children of God they are. To finally stand and say I will not be pawned, bartered and traded, disregarded and put aside. Say from your soul, "I am worth it! I am worthy." Really hear Oprah, pretend that you are Contessa (the former prostitute...admittedly, we have all prostituted ourselves, sold ourselves bartered ourselves maybe not for money but for companionship, attention even validation...to fill whatever void), and feel it when she looks in your eyes and says, "You are not used up. You are not used up. God has great plans for you. You are NOT used up!" Even go back to the days of Iyanla and lay hands on yourself and "save yourself". There's only so far you can walk with someone until you have to let them walk alone...led them to the water, encourage them to drink but it is not your responsibility to kneel down and scoop it in your hands, raise your hands to their mouth to drink. Are they thirsty enough to change? To reject the lies of the past in order to rework the present and future? Furthermore, we (women) are not the Savior of our men, so get down off the cross. That's been done. Be a helpmate not a Savior...definitely not his momma. That said recognize when enough is enough.
Lastly, I wish peace wholeness wellness prosperity truth honesty and even increased self-esteem. All these things I wish for all who read this...health in mind body and spirit, that you prosper even as your soul prospers.
Love.
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