So I'm sitting in church for the first time in months yesterday (I have my reasons, don't judge me...j/k). I had to do some self-talk, convince myself that I could be less critical than the last time I was in this place of worship.
Several verses from the 24th chapter of Luke was the inspiration for the message of the day titled "Can You See Him?" The focus of the message was Jesus' appearance to Cleopas and an unnamed companion. He (Jesus) came along, walked with them and talked with them. He asked what they had been talking about. All this while "their eyes were held from recognizing him" (verse 15 Amplified version...my preference since I was a kid)...NIV (the ministers preference) reads "they were kept from recognizing him".
I have a thing for words. I don't believe that words are arbitrarily placed lacking significance. So in my notes I circled kept and recognizing. I am not a theologian and am far from an etymologist. However, I know a little bit about a lot of things. Namely, words ;)
I focused on kept/held because it implies that it was intentional. Let me back up, re-cognition. Why break up the word? Because "re-" means "again" and "cognition" has to do with perception, knowing...even thinking. These men, for whatever reason, where held/kept from re-cognizing someone they knew before. I'm curious. I want to know why.
The men went on the describe Jesus (to Jesus) and all that they had hoped he would be. Dejection is inferred in their conversation. They had hoped he was the ONE. Verses later Jesus goes along with the men to their house and basically reenacts the Last Supper and it is then that their eyes were allowed (opened) to recoginize (remember) him. Then, their minds were [thoroughly] opened to understand the scriptures. Hmmm...I have more written about this but I am not a preacher...so I will not share all my thoughts to keep me from feeling like I am delivering a sermon.
I have become increasingly cynical when it comes to traditional Christian dogma...perhaps cynical is strong verbiage, but I don't shy away from it. It wasn't until I came to work today and a friend shared with me the story of her great-grandfather's life. He was 106 years old when he closed his eyes and went to sleep. See, he had been a pastor for basically all his life. She read an excerpt from an article written about him celebrating his 100th year (I think). Where he expressed an absolute joyful anticipation for the day he would finally rest...when god was done with him. Through her teary eyes I could see his joy. For a moment my cycnism dissipated. Perhaps the blessing in her loss is that I finally recognize the joyful occasion it truly is for a child of god to find rest in him.
I have written so many scripture-ladden, empty words that were intended to make me less embittered about the fact that my mother is gone. I am 6 days from the 9th anniversary of my mother's death. Ironically, she passed away on Easter (have you ever defined this word?) Sunday. Honestly, I have resented that day. So much that I refuse to call it Easter, choosing, instead, to say Resurrection Day. It's more defining, to me, for what is supposed to be commemorated. I digress. I was moved, today, by my friends recollection of her great-grandfather's life and passing early this morning.
I posted a status on my Facebook page yesterday. "Happy Resurrection Day all...what would you like to see rise again from decay and disuse in your life...revive!" For me it would be the obvious (to those that familiar with me, anyway). As I went thru the "talk notes" of the pastor's video recorded message I was struck by the question posed by the "messenger" in verse 5..."why do you look for the living among the dead?" For years I have counted my mama among the dead, refusing to recognize the joy in her passing. She is at rest. Maybe, just maybe, I am closer to letting her do so in peace.
Until a 1,000 years is as a day...
Several verses from the 24th chapter of Luke was the inspiration for the message of the day titled "Can You See Him?" The focus of the message was Jesus' appearance to Cleopas and an unnamed companion. He (Jesus) came along, walked with them and talked with them. He asked what they had been talking about. All this while "their eyes were held from recognizing him" (verse 15 Amplified version...my preference since I was a kid)...NIV (the ministers preference) reads "they were kept from recognizing him".
I have a thing for words. I don't believe that words are arbitrarily placed lacking significance. So in my notes I circled kept and recognizing. I am not a theologian and am far from an etymologist. However, I know a little bit about a lot of things. Namely, words ;)
I focused on kept/held because it implies that it was intentional. Let me back up, re-cognition. Why break up the word? Because "re-" means "again" and "cognition" has to do with perception, knowing...even thinking. These men, for whatever reason, where held/kept from re-cognizing someone they knew before. I'm curious. I want to know why.
The men went on the describe Jesus (to Jesus) and all that they had hoped he would be. Dejection is inferred in their conversation. They had hoped he was the ONE. Verses later Jesus goes along with the men to their house and basically reenacts the Last Supper and it is then that their eyes were allowed (opened) to recoginize (remember) him. Then, their minds were [thoroughly] opened to understand the scriptures. Hmmm...I have more written about this but I am not a preacher...so I will not share all my thoughts to keep me from feeling like I am delivering a sermon.
I have become increasingly cynical when it comes to traditional Christian dogma...perhaps cynical is strong verbiage, but I don't shy away from it. It wasn't until I came to work today and a friend shared with me the story of her great-grandfather's life. He was 106 years old when he closed his eyes and went to sleep. See, he had been a pastor for basically all his life. She read an excerpt from an article written about him celebrating his 100th year (I think). Where he expressed an absolute joyful anticipation for the day he would finally rest...when god was done with him. Through her teary eyes I could see his joy. For a moment my cycnism dissipated. Perhaps the blessing in her loss is that I finally recognize the joyful occasion it truly is for a child of god to find rest in him.
I have written so many scripture-ladden, empty words that were intended to make me less embittered about the fact that my mother is gone. I am 6 days from the 9th anniversary of my mother's death. Ironically, she passed away on Easter (have you ever defined this word?) Sunday. Honestly, I have resented that day. So much that I refuse to call it Easter, choosing, instead, to say Resurrection Day. It's more defining, to me, for what is supposed to be commemorated. I digress. I was moved, today, by my friends recollection of her great-grandfather's life and passing early this morning.
I posted a status on my Facebook page yesterday. "Happy Resurrection Day all...what would you like to see rise again from decay and disuse in your life...revive!" For me it would be the obvious (to those that familiar with me, anyway). As I went thru the "talk notes" of the pastor's video recorded message I was struck by the question posed by the "messenger" in verse 5..."why do you look for the living among the dead?" For years I have counted my mama among the dead, refusing to recognize the joy in her passing. She is at rest. Maybe, just maybe, I am closer to letting her do so in peace.
Until a 1,000 years is as a day...
Seeing as though 8:46 a.m. is not my "preferred" time to cry, today I had no option... still not tears of sorrow, but tears of a cocktail of emotions...excluding sorrow. ;)
ReplyDeleteFirst, thank you for your words, as always... Somehow in reading your thoughts and your experience in the sermon you heard, gives me more peace inside... Reading back through the words of my great-grandfather certainly has made me realize in the last two days how much I am lacking in the religion department. Not that I don't "believe", simply put-- I haven't been to church consistently in yearrrssss... The only times I can honestly remember sitting through an entire sermon was when we were celebrating this man's birthday, each year...
He was a genuine person. Same person in the depths of his soul as he was on the surface.
I personally, have a hard time expressing true gratitude and feelings about sensitive subjects. But I will try here today. :)
After reading your blog, and feeling your words, I want to THANK YOU, for sharing with me (and the world) how my experience touched you... I know we talk a LOT, but sometimes (ok...most the time) I don't have the right verbiage. Apparently it didn't even matter... just by sharing his life with you and knowing now that it gave you some symbolance of peace... means more to me than any words could ever express...
So, thank you... for who you are, and for what you do...
Its very mature and wise to see the blessing in your mom's passing. Ultimately that will help you heal. Earth is not the final resting place, we all are trying to live until it is our time to be with the Creator in perfect harmony, so in a sense we return to home. We want to keep people here for our own reasons but that isn't the design. I have always subscribed to the ideology that we carry on the memories of those that we lost to keep their spirits living inside of us, our kids, the people we come in contact everyday so they truly live on in words, thought and action.
ReplyDeleteVery insightful