Hello world!
Last night was date night for DH(dear husband) and I. I chose the spot and *gasp* I even paid. SMH at the "role" reversal. My last post (and likely subsequent posts) was about being tired and increasingly unwilling to accept selfishness, just blatant inconsideration the older I get. That sentiment remains.
I will share with you as I told him. I think it a tad unfair to set an expectation without first ensuring that he (or anyone) has been made aware that the expectation exists even if only in my own mind and that he has the opportunity to ask any necessary clarifying questions. Sound like a business deal? A proposal of sorts? Like we are entering into a contract? We are.
Relationships of any sort evolve over time. Consider the relationship of this government to/with its citizens...broad stroking it, but follow me on this one. The founding principles of this country are well over 200 hundred years old. Circumstances that validated the original Constitution are repsectfully antiquated. The Bill of Rights and the liberties it guarantees goes without saying just how unremitting it is. The point is documents inked and signed in 1776 were the foundation the house that is the United States of America was built on. Likewise, the contract inked with my signature and that of my husband nine and a half years ago was only the genesis. The birth of our children brought a silent and sudden evolution. Our children are growing daily and quite before I am ready will be women carrying out their life's purpose on the strength of their own wings. So, at this juncture we must deepen the roots of our relationship as man and wife. Back to what I looked him in his eyes and said last night, "You know, I thought to myself 'how can I expect my husband to know how to date me if I haven't really shown him'." We awkwardly learned how to be husband and wife before we were ever boyfriend and girlfriend. Backward, I know but sorely accurate.
Last night was the initation of a new contract. An amendment so to speak. I am looking to what our relationship must be like in order to more than survive until death part us. I am looking to thrive post the onset of having an empty nest. I refuse to be one of those that "stayed together for the kids" or any other barren and fruitless excuse. I am out to benefit in and from this relationship. That is a completely guileless assertion.
I love(I prefer to use the word compassion...love is a limiting expression of an abysmal happening) my husband! This does not mean that I must, in whole or in part, love myself less or differently. "Love as an emotion, no matter how genuine, is incomplete without love as an action"
