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OKay, to know me is to know that I am a fan of several things. All things Oprah, Destiny's Child and, dare I say it, Tyra.
That latter has been all over the news lately because of some "unflattering" photos snapped some time in December when she was doing a photoshoot in Australia. True, it's not the Tyra-size people have been accustomed to, watching her work the VS runway or posing scantily clad in their catalogs. Still, the headlines were ugly and just plain nasty. I get it, don't get me wrong, I understand the job of the tabloids is to sell their rags at whatever cost.
I know I'm gonna sound like a fan defending her "idol" when I say this, but here it is; I commend Tyra for realizing that this is bigger than her (no pun intended). Of course, this is only my summation of the thought process that went into the show she did on Thursday, February 1. I think it is necessary for young girls, even women to know that someone understands the struggle and is willing say it really ISN'T necessary to look like the retouched photos of models and celebrities that you see in the magazines.
Why do I care? Ordinarily I probably wouldn't comment on this situation. I would care just because I am a woman and I feel, in general, people need a more realistic view of what a woman's body should look like. As we grow and mature our body's grow and mature. We aren't meant to look, at 40, the way we did when we were 16. At least, I don't think so. I, personally, want to look like what I feel my body should look like at age my age (29) and after having 3 children. I thought I was fly back in the day when I sported a size 4. Now that my body's gone thru some things and I'm in a 10, I still feel fly. I know my body and I know that I am not my healthiest now. But that has little to do with the number on the tag in the back of clothes and more to do with knowing my body and just feeling my best. You know, I remember a time when trekking up a flew flights of stairs would not have winded me. It's about being healthy (for me). But I digress.
My main cause for taking notice of this issue, other than being a HUGE fan of all things Tyra, is the fact that I have three daughters. Yes, three. Oldest being 6. Middle being 4 and my baby is 16 months old. Now, I know what you're thinking. I shouldn't be concerned with issues of body image and how the negative remarks made about Tyra's photos would affect a girls self-esteem. Well, it seems that issues with self-esteem and self-love don't discriminate when it comes to age. I watched Tyra on Larry King earlier last week and I listened as a mother called in saying that her six year old daughter calls herself fat. Are you kidding? When I was six my weight was the last thing on my mind. Things are different these days. I know that makes me sound old but it is very true (not that I am old, but that things are very different these days). I just feel like there are more things for little girls to be concerned with than what they look like.
Bottom line is, we need to get back to what is really important. Our little girls should not be so consumed with their weight. Yes, we all want to be healthy. That should be the focus when it comes to our physical bodies. Just because a person is "skinny" doesn't mean that person is health. And just because someone is "thicker" doesn't mean they are unhelathy. We should all strive to be what is natural. Every body is not meant to look the same. There is beauty in the variation. That said, I am not giving any one license to go out and chow down at an all-you-can-eat at like 9 or 10 o'clock at night. Nor am I saying it's cool to snack on a Snicker's Bar at 2am. Be wise ladies, in our choices. Most importantly, love yourself for who you are today.
I truly feel that the future rests in the hands of women, us and the ones we bring into this world. Why else would we be going thru so much? At the risk of sounding preachy, why else would the adversary be so hell-bent on destroying the self-esteem of women (of all ages)? What better way to deter a woman from maximizing her potential than to keep her from believing in herself and making her feel unworthy? When you are confident, esteem yourself highly, believe in your worth and love yourself you recognize that whatever you set your mind to is absolutely possible!
I'm reminded of times when my older daughters will say to me or their father after they've gotten their hair done or are wearing a new outfit, "Am I beautiful?" I say, "You were beautiful before all of this. You were made beautiful." Then, there are times when my six and four year olds will ask, "Are you proud of me?" I look them in their gorgeous brown eyes and say, "I am very proud of you simply because you did your best." Building strong women is the goal. Women who are self-assured and who understand that their worth is not contigent on what they look like or don't look like. I want my babies to be healthy happy and whole! I want every woman to be the same! I don't know you but I love you...as a woman, as my sister. I pray increased self-esteem, self-love and self-worth and an understanding that when I call you beautiful I am not referring only to your face but to your soul, your spirit...you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are an intricate design, unique, the only you that will ever exist. Dare to let your light shine! There's a quote I'm sure we have all heard, probably shortened or paraphrased, by Marianne Williamson and I feel like it is so fitting for this moment. Here it is(in its entirety):
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
I know that I am a fan and some might say that my view on this whole Tyra situation is slanted, still. I thank her for being unafraid to take the stance she has and for being insightful enough to step outside of her own personal feelings and see the potential affect it would have on girls and women that look at her and feel better about themselves. So, as a mother, I thank her for thinking of my daughters.
*I had to repost this one from my old myspace page because it is still relevant.
